Are People on Gumtree Taking Too Many Drugs?

One year ago I went to Gumtree to sell an Apple TV that I was given, and for the most part it was a relatively easy task. I registered, put the details in and then spent R20 to promote the ad for 7 days. Then, two days later a guy mailed and took it off me, no hassle at all, was fantastic! But now I find myself going through the same procedure in a very different way.

I am selling my DVD player, not the Space Shuttle Discovery, the price is specified, a description and a small piece on why I am selling it (even if not entirely true).

gumtree ad dvd player

I mean, if I was out for a DVD player with a surround sound system and could not afford a new one I would think this is pretty good deal. But, I can understand some of the questions such as, “what is the condition” and “do the speakers work”, even if I do find it a little bewildering to be asked if the speakers work. Anyway, I had a guy reply (after my 7 day promotion had ended…?), and said he was interested. He asked first if the price was negotiable… No mate, R800 is what the ad says so we will go with that. Then, he offers me a Nike tracksuit, which completely bowled me over and I thought he could have been taking the piss. He did sound like he wanted it though so I said if he got me cash by the end of the week I would knock off 50 bucks, because I am a nice guy like that. His response was above and beyond anything I could have ever imagined….

brandon gumtree ad response

And queue:

You can imagine how that started quite the conversation on twitter, with most people in the “take the pitbull” corner of the argument. Beyond bizarre right? No, because then I got this dude.

shawn gumtree ad response

“You’d be welcome to come to my house during the day and use it there,” no thanks mate, you will steal my kidney and I will wake up in a bath full of ice cubes. And I am sure your housemate grows only the finest mountain cabbage but in the circles I spend my time that isn’t a particularly useful form of currency. I let Shawn know this and his response was “Cool, give me your BBM pin and we can chat about shit.”… No Shawn… Just no.

You would then assume it ends there, but you would assume wrong because the strange people of Gumtree had one last absurd offer up their Nike tracksuit sleeve.

kashule gumtree ad response

Seriously! Spam right? Or is it, I have already been offered a pitbull and a great deal on quality trout medicine… Is it so inconceivable that this dude could seriously be offering me “short boys for hire or rent”. Did not know there was a difference between “hire” and “rent”, he sure showed me!

So, believe it or not, I have still not sold this DVD player because people on Gumtree are taking too many drugs. After that we are going to go and try out OLX. How bad could they possibly be?

About Murray

A mildly delusional social addict who once dreamed of becoming a viking

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5 Responses to Are People on Gumtree Taking Too Many Drugs?

  1. Catherine November 23, 2012 at 10:17 am #

    That is amazing! I laughed the whole way though!

  2. Kelly November 23, 2012 at 12:10 pm #

    That is hilarious! Gumtree is a hack – stick to Cash Converters!

    • Murray November 23, 2012 at 12:11 pm #

      Had not even thought of cash converters. Thanks Kell, if I find pedophiles on OLX I will be heading there

  3. Rox November 26, 2012 at 1:59 pm #

    Man, that is hilarious. I advertised my old flat I was leaving on Gumtree as I left sooner than notice period. Somehow managed to find an awesome (normal) couple, but the replies I got were on the weird side. Families with 4 kids (for a 1 bedroom flat), lady who wanted to know if landlord could renovate before she moved in and even one who was kak scared of cats and worried about any of the neigbour’s cats getting into the flat. She actually came to view, which made it even weirder.

    But no pit bull, short boys or dodgy new ‘friendship’ offers at least.

    • Murray November 26, 2012 at 4:28 pm #

      I am not sure you have really lived until you have been offered potentially violent animals and a weed supplier. I can imagine the rented house scene being an interesting space to play in.

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